Abortion

Sometimes, I just want to vanish — evaporate into nothing.

In a blink, abandon everything that poisons me. Everything that festers inside me. The pain in my skull throbs, swelling with the fury of a truth I can’t kill. How much longer? How much longer?! I just want to never need again. Never speak again. Because in the end, no one needs what I carry inside.

It’s desolate. It’s numbing.

What I feel is a hollow collapsing into itself, a black spiral devouring what’s left of me. A tornado of rage. Greed that was never mine. Hatred that was never mine. Selfishness that was never mine. And yet it cages me, chains me, silences the part of me that could still scream “enough.” A freezing deluge, heavy as an iceberg, crushing what remains.

A retreat into nothingness — like a beaten animal with no cage, just the abyss erupting before my feet.

Maybe I should have been a curse. A rejected afterthought. A crawling worm never meant to rise. A denied blessing. An abortion. A soul forgotten by its own will. I wish I could flood every crack with rage — only rage — and drown the world in the purest shape of abandonment.

Am I still part of anything? Or am I just debris drifting in someone else’s story?Words… nothing but empty words. Broken syllables pretending to be truth. The dying art of wanting without wanting. Offering without ever meaning to offer.

I am a villain.

For living like this. For being like this. For craving like this. For thinking like this. A villain who no longer bends his tongue to gratitude. Sometimes, I just want to vanish. To quit. To fade until not even my shadow remembers me.

I am silent.

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