Oasis

This is a long night — one of those that refuse to end before the sun returns.
And in these sleepless, endless hours, I find no answers — because there are none.
It’s in these hollow stretches of time, while I question my desperate attempts at happiness,
that I lose myself the most, fighting against the borrowed theories of joy I hear around me.
My head weighs a thousand tons, and inside me, a void — vast, unfillable.
And in some strange, senseless way, I close my eyes, trying to understand the reasons life gives me — if such reasons even exist.
I know this space will never be complete, never whole — like a puzzle missing its final piece, the single fragment that would reveal everything, and bring an end.
My hopes drift aimlessly, day after day. I ache for the end of this waiting — for all the questions without a period, for the moment when life would prove itself worthwhile, and meaning would finally appear.
My dream.
I feel as though I have found an oasis. From afar, I watched the most beautiful landscape, and step by step, as I approached, the truth unraveled — it wasn’t real, it vanished into the vastness of space.
A long, long night — without truce, without forgiveness. Each minute a tightening in the chest, a blade turning in tender flesh, touching every open wound.
Cursed existence. I bleed without meaning.
Why won’t you release me from this mirage called living? I can no longer bear to be this puppet inside your circus of pain.
Do justice — before I do something I cannot undo.