Losses

Life brings memories.

Everything we live through, everything we endure, transforms us into who we are today. And what will we take from this life, if not everything we keep within our hearts? Every day we smiled, every joy we gave ourselves, the moments that made us cry, the sadness, the loss of the people we love.

Our parents will leave us one day, and their memories will bring us tears. Because I cannot imagine life without my father, without my mother, without the people who, even with me being who I am, still reached out their hand to me, no matter how contradictory it may have seemed to them. And where will my father be when I wake up in the middle of the night and no longer hear his voice, no longer feel the certainty of his presence? And where will I have to search? My grandparents, my brothers…

And in this life, I seek stories. I seek my friends so they may fill every empty space of memory. Because one day they too will leave, and I hope together with me, so that no one has to miss anyone. So that the moments we lived may be remembered and relived within us, by us.

And I am proud to have beside me people who build my future and carve my past in such a simple way. Living is simple. And that is what matters to me. To feel relieved. To feel complete, proud of remaining true to what I believe.

I have already lost friends, I have already lost people, and I will lose many more. Some to nature itself — merciless, mortal. Others because they allowed themselves to be led by those whose hearts hold no light. And if you are truly incapable of seeing such details, then you have surrendered yourself to error.

I do not believe in another life. I believe that what we build here will serve as comfort or forgiveness when we feel our journey has come to an end.

And so I hope to see my friends around me, and bring back in my mind all the good we lived through, and see them aged by time, just as I will be, and know that within each of them there is a story I carry. That will comfort me.

What I seek from this life is greater than many can perceive. It is stronger and more intense than many may believe. And it is my destiny.

I hope that what I suffer because of the misunderstanding of those who are mistaken will be worthwhile, no matter how painful it may be.

This is who I am.


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